Does that make us less than, culturally? Does the lack of a trip to the motherland reduce our cultural completion? Does it minimise our DNA, the detail in our features, the automation of our naturality? I’m sure many of those who have visited their homelands have still returned to their host country confused about their identities. Many of us may speak our mother tongue, we may also engage in and observe cultural pastimes but all these are elements of us that we have learnt anywhere but ‘back home’ due to being raised in the west. Interesting how an accent never lies or lets go. Unlike other European languages, it is a language that exposes its host via communication. “Speaking English allows me to connect to more people and understand my surroundings but not necessarily belong.” A language like English, which is supposed to be universal, is telling when spoken in different accents. Almost a mythical place, a fairy-tale that confirms my existence.” But due to the fact that my identity and belonging was always something that was questioned, it was easy to fantasise about this place that will always be my ‘home’ because it is where my grandparents have lived and where my parents were from. “I am not connected to any particular city in Yemen and I actually know nothing about the country. But this doesn’t stop one from dreaming of what home could be if they visited, lived there or even felt closer to it. The migrant experience is validated through transporting the home culture to the new host country. All three hold memories and attachments that I would describe as home.” But there’s a caveat in her life, similar to mine which is, “there are many Yemeni diasporas all over the world and one thing that has always connected us is our food and culture (humour, stories and music).” “ Home has never been a place, as in a country, it has always been the family home of which growing up I had three in three different countries. I found that was a place my parents are from and one that welcomed me without question.”Īs much as Bashayer identifies as Yemeni, defining home for her is tricky. I’ve always just simply identified as Yemeni. My otherness was always so apparent and constantly mentioned that as a defence mechanism (very early on). “I’ve had to defend my belonging to one culture or another. Still, she would classify Yemen as ‘home.’ Raised in Jeddah and London, her ethnicity in such a melting pot of culture and spanning countries was always of interest to her from a young age. The organiser of a book club I’m part of, Bashayer, is a Yemeni woman living in the UK, who has never lived where she is ‘originally’ from. But does wanting that connection deem us defective in the only country we may have ever known? Derek Owusu, author of ‘ That Reminds Me ’ (2019) considers “history, folklore, and culture gives you pride and happiness through a sense of connection.” I agree with this notion, I do. Many first generation people with dual identities in the west have written candidly about this infection that plagues their minds the place from which they originate, where their beginnings lie, oceans away from where they currently exist. A place we have only heard about, seen pictures and videos of. The thought I’m examining here is one I’ve pondered for years now: why do we feel homesick for a place we’ve never known? A place that has never met us. It becomes a culture as backdrop, or simply, a culture misunderstood. Your less dominant culture (‘back home’) may be the culture you spend less time with. It has taught you about life, who you are, and the mechanics of you. It may be that you never really feel like you fit in, and yet you feel bad about feeling all this because this country you criticise has taken care of you more than your original home has. That it hasn’t accepted you after all this time and it berates you daily. There’s a chance that this host country has damaged you in its own way. Maybe one culture is more civil and has more money. You feel loyal to this land, this nation and its ethos. ![]() By default, this can become the home by which a person distinguishes who they are at their core as it’s the consistent place in our lives. ![]() Having a dual identity can often make the most dominant culture, the overbearing, identifying one. ” It was not by choice that Somalis fled their homes while simultaneously adopting new identities along with most importantly our newfound freedom. As written by poet Warsan Shire, we all know “y ou only run for the border when you see the whole city running as well.
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